What Moms Can't Do

Well, I am quite proud of myself. I have figured out how to out-smart that darn block on my work computer. I can no longer access my blog from work, but I can write myself an email and then paste it to my blog when I get home. The truth is, I can not write in my blog at home. I can not do much of anything that involves complex, independent thought. My kids have a great book called What Moms Can’t Do; it’ s all about the things moms “can’t” do without their kids help, like making the bed and picking out clothes and making lunches and saying goodbye. My favorite page has the mom driving with the little kid in the back seat with a radio blasting. It says “Sometimes moms can’t hear themselves think (whatever that means)”…. I love this page because as a mom, I can’t hear myself think; and as a kid I never understood what that meant when my mom would say it to me! My other favorite page says, “Moms can never give hugs with a kiss. Or two. Or nine.”

Anyway, I have many more opportunities at work to hear myself think, so I like blogging at work. For whatever reason, my employer finds this habit of mine to be unappealing, so the blogging sites have been blocked. Humpf. This is my attempt at keeping the creative juices flowing while adhering to the guidelines of my employer. (For those of you reading this who happen to be employed by the same company, don’t rat me out, okay?! I NEED my creative time. It makes me a better counselor. And I write on my breaks. Usually.)

With all that said, I have to admit that I don’t have much to say tonight. Oh, the irony! I am participating in a weight loss contest with some of my work buddies. So far, I have done a lousy job of losing some for the team. This week, however, I was able to smile when I stepped off the scale. Tonight’s meeting topic happened to focus a little on healthy, gradual weight loss. We spoke specifically about the low-carb diets that make the victim feel great about their progress, but that are not really effective for long-term results. I have been doing weight watchers for a little over a year. I have lost a solid 10 lbs, with some plateauing and a little yo-yoing along the way. I know this is the right way for me to make this last a life time. The skinny little dietician talking at our group tonight confirmed that this is the healthy way to go. But there are many, many days when I’d like to see those low-carb results. I lost a ton of weight when Rick was in Iraq. I started with Slimfast and tried 3 or 4 low-carb options. The results were dramatic. But they didn’t last and the lifestyle was not sustainable for me. I like carbs. My body feels good on (complex) carbs. I feed my family carbs. AND…. Carbs are a healthy, necessary part of a balanced diet. This all sounds good on paper, and even coming from the dietician. But stepping on the scale and seeing the same weight week after week ( or seeing a small gain) is frustrating and can be discouraging.

I have made a commitment to myself and to my family to stick with this, no matter how long it takes or how tough it seems. And I am willing to stick to that commitment most days. But there are times when I just fantasize about eating a lot of junk. I can imagine how tough it must be for drug addicts or people who’ve been unfaithful to a spouse. Despite my best efforts to stay on the straight and narrow, the temptation to cheat or give up entirely can seem overwhelming. And even though it makes sense to me intellectually and is backed by scientific research, my slow progress can feel like a cop out—like I’m not really trying. BUT I AM. I am 10 lbs lighter than I was a year ago. I skip out on junk food more often than I did last year. I indulge much less frequently. I don’t eat mindlessly anymore, for the most part. (Christmas break was bad. And you know what really sucks about that? I made a conscious effort to overeat during the holidays. Why? What exactly is it about me that makes me think that celebrating Christ’s birth should include a self-indulgent escapade down Fat Girl Lane?!)

I am making an effort to change my family’s eating habits, as well. I am meal planning and including fruits and veggies at each meal. Come summer break, I will change my schedule at work so that I am home 3 nights a week, instead of only one… That will improve a lot of things in my family. Rick’s a great man. A wonderful husband. And a great dad. But he’s still a lousy mother and housewife!