Whatever...

My friends have been bugging me to blog, so here I am. I don’t have anything in particular on my mind to blog about. But I figure something will come up eventually. So, if I just sit here and ramble on about nothing, maybe something interesting will come out of my fingers….

I am plugging right along on my weight watchers program. The weight loss is extremely slow, but I refuse to give up. Because regardless of the speed, I can either move up the scale or down. So a slow downward direction is just fine with me! it certainly beats the alternative.

Recently, my cycle has been really messing up my weight. I have started weighing in periodically during the week on my Wii, instead of just Monday mornings. It’s nice to see my progress mid-week. It actually keeps me more accountable to myself. If the numbers start to inch up mid-week, I know I’ve got to pull in the reigns on my eating. And if the numbers are going down, I am motivated to keep the reigns in on my eating. BUT, two months in a row now I have run into this HUGE problem. On Saturday morning, after a week of watching the scale go down, I weigh in 2 lbs lighter than Monday morning (my official WW weigh-in day). This is great to see and it is motivational. But then, Monday morning I weigh-in at almost 4 lbs higher (which, if you are doing the math, is 2 lbs more than the previous week!) I know this is water gain because of the ensuing visit from my least favorite Aunt. But you’d think, then, that the next week would be crazy low….. It’s not working that way! I seem to keep losing the same 4 lbs, over and over again. It’s like Weight Watchers meets Groundhog Day, only not so funny.

I have changed my exercise routine… Well, it changed on it’s own, really. My elliptical broke, so I have needed to do something else instead. I am doing step aerobics on my Wii board, using hand weights. I am doing a toning exercise tape. And I’m back to hula hoop on the Wii—it’s great for strengthening my back muscles. Plus, I have started “dieting” on the weekends. The weekends are notoriously my worst days, so I have started putting effort into making Saturday and Sunday my lightest days of the week. We’ll see how that goes long-term!

Regardless of this roller coaster ride on the scale, I am seeing a change in my shape. A now skinny friend gave me some of the clothes she has since out-grown (she’s on the jack-ass diet—her husband’s a jack-ass!!) and I can now fit into a pair of pants that were too tight a few months ago…. And I can wear Rick’s Dr. Pepper t-shirt. (He only thinks he wants me to lose weight… When I start stealing his cute t-shirts, he might start bringing home DQ blizzards! His “I {heart} cows” one is next!)

A few of my favorite things...

I was talking with a friend the other day about her blog. She is going through some very trying, but very personal things in her life, so she does not feel like a public blog would be appropriate in her life right now. That reminded me of the journal jar I got at some church function many years ago. This jar is filled with journaling ideas that could be used as blog entry ideas. (The jar has been sitting on my computer cabinet for years and I finally dusted it off today and took it to work--where I do most of my blogging... shhhhhh!) Without even cracking the vault, I came up with a blog topic on my own today... And I'm actually blogging from home tonight.

My blog idea (please feel free to life my idea for your own blog entry) is to list things that I love. And not just the standard answers like my family, God, sunshine, blah, blah, blah. But with that said, here are a few of my favorite things...

my family. god. sunshine. the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking. and bread baking. and turkey baking. food. eating food. shopping. the sound of Luke playing. laughter. good music, like Nickleback, Pink, 80's. sewing. scrapbooking for hours at a time. mulitple orgasms (like I wouldn't include that one, guys! come on--remember who's blog you're reading!). paying the bills. sushi. jeans. going barefoot. swimming in warm water. being tan. when wii eva tells me I've lost weight. beating rick at chess. soup. steamed cabbage. loyal friends. intelligence. watching my favorite shows, like the office, 24, heroes, survivor, battlestar galactica, friends, lost. christie brinkley. getting lost in a good book. pedicures. having my hair played with. massages. blasting the music and singing along in the car. gabriel's smile. elijah's eyes. sarah's hair. luke's eye lashes. rick's butt. my hair. the totally cool burn stuff rick put on my finger that stopped the pain and healed my blister fast. rootbeer (not the dog, the soda). ice cream, almost any flavor. a good work out. a clean bathroom. washing dishes. my laminate floors, when they are swept. costco samples. walmart prices. fabric. onion rings dipped in good ranch dressing. playing blokus with my kids. changing seasons. capri pants weather. sourdough bread. cheese. colors, especially green. photos. building legos. holidays. paid vacation days. when my kids listen the first time. kissing. my house. roberta (the dog, not the soda).

Lame, but hey, whatever!

I don't really have any new, inspiring words to share. I am really just waiting for Rick's blue tooth to charge so I can unplug it before the Nyquil kicks in. I am sick AGAIN. I have been sick more often since working at Job Corps than I ever was running a day care. Those darn Job Corps students have cooties or something!

Tonight at work we watched "the Outsiders" for two of our counseling groups. We were inspired to watch it on the suggestion of a student... And a co-worker who recently told me to "stay gold, pony boy". I remember just loving that movie as a kid. And the boys were all so cute! It's amazing to look back and see them after watching their careers for the last 20 years. Patrick Swayze and all his movies... then his battle with cancer. Tom Cruise and his dramatic life. Rob Lowe, Emilio Estavez, Ralph Macchio, Tommy Howell (he was in 24 one season and on ER one time--both creepy roles).

We recently got all the Karate Kid movies for our kids to watch. And I think I'll get the Outsiders book for Gabriel, and then we can watch the movie! Right now Elijah is reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid so he can watch the movie. Makes me want to watch Stand By Me and Red Dawn again, too! We just watched Ghostbusters the other night--that is a weird movie. And the special effects are awful!

Well, the Nyquil is starting to take effect... bye bye sore throat! Type to you later, all! Good night...

April Fools

I have been wanting to blog for days now, but I never have the time... Well, Rick just went to bed and I hate going to bed the same time he does because we just end up talking and then he doesn't get enough sleep and that stresses me out... And I'm irritated with him, so I'd rather hang out with my qwerty than my schmoopy tonight.

So, my blog idea for the week is one that I have been debating about all week. For those of you who know me (which is a really stupid thing to write in a blog read by only people who know me!), this may come as a surprise. But I am trying to be a little more polished in my life, so the following topic may not be in line with my new goals. But sometimes delicate matters just need to be brought out into the open. Why am I trying to be more polished, do you ask? Because the world is full of crass, rude, incondsiderate people. It takes more effort to be refined, so I'm giving it a try. No one watching me would probably be able to see a decernable difference, but as long as I know it's there, then I'm doing okay I guess... And maybe if my kids catch me cussing less often, then that's a good thing, too.

So, the controvertial topic? Periods. They suck... I hate them. I hate everything about them. And now that I am done baring children, they are nothing less than ritualized torture. For everyone. The cramps and mess aren't even the worst of it. It's the pre-menstral part that's the kicker... And what is that anyway?! Menstration isn't bad enough? We've got to have PRE-menstration, too!!?!?

It's like a week of doom before the bomb explodes. The mood swings. The pre-cramp cramps. The weight gain! 3-5 lbs?! That's just not fair. I have decided to stop weighing myself during the week of my period. It's never accurate and my hormones are so out of whack that I can not think rationally about the situation. I just see a huge weight gain in a week's time and feel like a huge, insane, bloated whale.

The mood swings seem to be getting worse for me. I know when I'm in the middle of one, and there's a part of my brain that recognizes that my perception is totally skewed, but that small part of my brain is kept hostage by this maniacal, hysterical, sub-human creature. This beastly woman can not reason. She has no compassion or patience. She sees only malicous intent and evil-doers. She can't even do math! And I'm a prisoner to her power. She frightening and completely vulnerable at the same time. And she's got my body and mind in bondage. And she's mothering my children in my place. And managing my home and my marriage. It's terrifying...

And the cramps. If it's not bad enough that my mind is an irrational surge of emotion, hormones and cravings... My uterus is squeezing my insides with no mercy. It's like a scary, little Gestapo woman has entered my womb "vith vays of making me talk!"

And Heaven help the innocent by-stander who has no idea of the war waging inside this seemingly rational human being in front of them. One wrong word and I'm either crying or throwing punches or stone-cold silent. And the question was as simple as "paper or plastic, ma'am?"

Why must I continue to endure this retched torture? What purpose does it serve? It reminds my children that I don't love them that much. It gives my husband something to fear. And it makes me believe that PMS could be a valid plea in court, after all...

Stress is so stressful

Well, the media issue has exploded in my home. I made the mistake of telling Rick how much I hate that he stares at a screen all the time. He's totally pissed at me, though I'm not sure exactly what for. He's not speaking to me right now. But he did leave a note informing me that cable and netflix are both cancelled. I guess someone will have to tell me who wins Survivor this season. And I don't know what I will do about exercise DVD's from Netflix. And I expect we will be planning our Hawaii trip via notes.

Having Rick mad at me is the most uncomfortable feeling. It honestly feels as bad as losing a loved one. I am totally lost. This sucks.

And to top it all off, Gabriel is having a really hard time in school and I feel completely powerless to help him. There are days that being a wife and mother really sucks! This is one of those days...

written 03-08-10

This morning I started reading a magazine article about the threat of electronics chipping away at family time. Reading this was like preaching to the choir with me. If I could have my way, the screens in my house would only be on the windows! Don’t get me wrong—I enjoy a good movie or fun TV show. I have even been known to use the TV as a babysitter on a fairly regular basis. But it seems that every time I turn around, someone is plugged into something. And I have a pretty tight reign on the screen time in my family!

I watch at least 45 minutes of TV a day—I watch DVD’s while working out in the mornings. I am, of course, on my computer at work all day long. I love watching Survivor with my family every Thursday. And I enjoy watching movies on the weekends. Sometimes. If there isn’t something better to do. And that’s just it. I can almost always find something better to do with my time.

I’m not a total TV Nazi… My kids like to watch the PBS afternoon line-up or Malcolm in the Middle. An hour or so of that is fine, especially when they are winding down after school. Luke loves Dinosaur Train on PBS in the mornings. Again, a quick half hour show is a nice little break. I can even get behind Rick’s desire to have a movie from Netflix every weekend.

Unfortunately, my family is watching way more than what I have just described! Way more!!! And it really shows on the weekends when I’m home with them. They are asking left and right to get on the computer or to turn on the TV or to go to the movie store. Gabriel is now our live-in babysitter (I know, it’s awesome!) and we have just by chance always had a Netflix DVD available on the nights we’ve gone out. Well, we didn’t have one this weekend and Gabriel didn’t know what he was going to do with himself (and his siblings) without that glowing box! They ended up playing a Wii tournament while Rick and I were gone. What ever happened to building Legos together? I know I’ve spent a small fortune on them! Or a board game? Or, heaven forbid, playing outside?!

On Sunday we had stake conference at church. That means the meeting is only 2 hours long instead of three, but we don’t split into classes. The whole 2 hours are spent in one room. On hard chairs. Not the most fun for a kid—or an adult for that matter. This is the first weekend I’ve ever taken my kids to stake conference. I guess I’m just out of excuses not to go. And it was in Astoria instead of Longview, so there was no good reason to skip. Anyway, I totally prepped the kids. We had a bag full of quiet activities to keep them occupied. Not 15 minutes into the meeting, and the boys start whining about “is it over yet?” Finally I warned Gabriel that we’re gonna be on a flight to Hawaii (yeah, I’ll get to that) for SIX hours! So, he’d better get used to just sitting. You can guess what his response was… “They let you play video games on the plane. And there’s movies.”

What the heck did people do before the glowing boxes were invented?! I’ve got 4 kids and a husband addicted to the screen. Computer. Television. Wii. DS. It. Drives. Me. Crazy! There is a whole, wide world out there and my family is missing it. There’s a whole, wide world right in our own home and my family is missing it! What am I gonna do when they all get older and more demanding and harder to entertain?!

And you know what’s really sad? It does not take much effort or creativity to entertain kids, at least not mine. Last night we ate dinner together and then Rick went to bed really early. (Which is a good thing.) So Gabriel sat on the chair in the living room whining about nothing to do. A part of me wanted to make him clean his room, but I stepped away from the computer (No, I did not miss the irony here. I am trying to make spring break camping plans and plan our Hawaii trip. Really, I use the computer as a tool to work and plan. I even shop on-line. And then when I’m done, I get off and do something else.) and started interacting with my children. It was around 7pm and I started reading books for bedtime. They were all a little confused because it seemed so early to start bedtime. But I was able to read extra chapters to everyone because we weren’t rushed for time. When we got done at around 8 pm, Gabriel suggested we –surprise, surprise—watch TV. But instead I continued interacting with them.

We did stretches on the living room floor. I found out that Sarah can do anything with that tiny, little body of hers. Elijah is totally inflexible, physically. Gabriel has no stamina. And Luke is morally opposed to structured activities. I was a little surprised that they stuck it out with me, but they were eating it up. We did stretches and some stomach crunches. We tried a few yoga poses. It was fun and they loved it! Next I had them all get jammies on and brush teeth. Then they all got blankets and pillows and I had them lay down in the living room. I turned off all the lights and we did deep relaxation and meditation. They ate that up, too! Luke couldn’t close his eyes (he was sure of it) and was not at all interested in being quiet (he never is, really) so he crawled up on the couch with me. I rubbed his back and covered his mouth while the rest of the kids flexed and relaxed their muscles, made faces, focused on their breathing and imagined themselves sunning on the beaches of Oahu. It was a lovely evening that involved almost no screen time (I did let Gabriel show us a very long YouTube video titled “90,000 dominos”. And that’s what kills me about screens. Some group of kids took about a bagillion hours creating an amazing domino thingy. Then a bagillion other kids all over the world sit on their fat, lazy keesters watching other people play!)

By the end of the evening, the kids were relaxed and settled, after having spent some real time with a parent. Elijah and Gabriel were almost asleep on the living room floor. Luke and Sarah were a little amped, but they always are! And I slept like a rock!

So on to Hawaii…. My friend Katrina is (finally) getting married and the ceremony is in Hawaii. Her aunt lives on Oahu, so we will all be staying there. At first, I was bummed that she was getting married so far away, because I really want to be there. But then she got to talking and I got to thinking and it has all morphed into the family vacation of a lifetime! Airfare is reasonably low. We have a free place to stay. We are all pitching in on food to share. And there’s a wedding to attend. And friends to hang out with in Hawaii! We really really really want to see the volcanoes, but island hopping is not cheap, so we might just have to plan another trip to take in the big island (bummer, huh?!) We plan to see Pearl Harbor and the Polynesian Cultural Center and the wedding, or course. Hopefully, we can spend a lot of time just swimming and tanning in warm ocean waters. It’s gonna be warm. And sunny. I am very excited. The kids will have DS’s for the long plane ride, but hopefully there will be enough to do in HAWAII that I can pry all 5 of them away from all that darned technology. And I’m pretty sure I can live without Netflix DVD’s, Facebook and my blog for a week… in Hawaii! Where it’s warm. And sunny. Hawaii!!!

Luke the Cute

Well, I’m sure I’ve said this before: Luke is a delightful little person. As I described a few weeks back, Luke got a cut on his chin from our rusty, old trampoline. Well, he had not yet received the tetanus vaccine, so he needed one today. Yesterday I told him he had a doctor’s appointment because of the stitches. I deliberately avoided the word “shot”. Like his mother, Luke can be a pretty anxious kid. So too much prep time can turn into too much worry time, all of which is miserable and unnecessary in my opinion.

On the way to his “appointment” today, he was rather curious, so he started asking questions. I think he sensed my attempts at evading the word shot and he kept digging for information. I finally told him he needed an immunization and that satisfied his curiosity. When we arrived, I waited until the nurse was present with the vaccine before finally fessing up to the purpose of our “appointment”. He, of course, resisted the idea, but ultimately he conceded. (Perhaps this was because it was happening regardless of his consent or maybe it was all just over so quickly he didn’t have much of an opportunity to protest. I choose to believe it’s because my off-spring is a remarkably brave, cooperative young man.)

After the shot he was offered a sticker, to which he promptly and loudly declined. I guess he just didn’t want to remember the experience. We went to Burger King for a post-traumatic treat. He chose burger shots with apple slices. (Another “proud mommy” moment… *sniff*sniff*). On the way into the restaurant, I was talking with Rick on my cell phone, recounting Luke’s triumphant ordeal with the “tetanus immunization appointment”. When I said to Rick, “and then I got the shot”, Luke stuck his finger out and corrected me, “NO! I got the shot!” Priceless!